@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @@@@@ @@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
Mt. Holz Science Fiction Society
Club Notice - 03/12/99 -- Vol. 17, No. 37
Chair/Librarian: Mark Leeper, 732-957-5619, mleeper@lucent.com
Factotum: Evelyn Leeper, 732-957-2070, eleeper@lucent.com
Distinguished Heinlein Apologist: Rob Mitchell, robmitchell@lucent.com
HO Chair Emeritus: John Jetzt, jetzt@lucent.com
HO Librarian Emeritus: Nick Sauer, njs@lucent.com
Back issues at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4824
All material copyright by author unless otherwise noted.
The Science Fiction Association of Bergen County meets on the
second Saturday of every month in Upper Saddle River; call
201-447-3652 for details. The Denver Area Science Fiction
Association meets 7:30 PM on the third Saturday of every month at
Southwest State Bank, 1380 S. Federal Blvd.
===================================================================
1. This is one of the rare instances when I will actually discuss
sports in the MT VOID. Those of you who are longtime readers will
note that I almost never discuss sports. That is because I don't
actually know anything about sports and on top of that I have very
few suspicions. Add to that that I don't like sport and discussing
sports is generally boring and you have the whole picture in a
nutshell. On the other hand I am told that most people who talk
about sports are equally clueless and I have the advantage because
I actually know that I don't know anything about the subject. But
this issue is also about politics, a subject in which I invariably
bring to bear a great deal of wisdom. And I do have a solution to
the as yet unexplained problem I will raise. But I am getting
ahead of myself.
What I am talking about is this current question of Indian names
for sports teams. And I admit going into this discussion that my
sympathy is almost entirely with the Native Americans. I am not
even sure why so many teams want Indian names. I went to high
school in a place called Longmeadow. And since that time I have
met several Native Americans. And having made the comparison, if
Longmeadow High School students want to give their team the name of
something barbaric and really, really nasty they don't need an
Indian name. They can just call their team the Longmeadow High
School Students. That should put the fear of God in any team with
a namby-pamby name like the Braves or the Warriors.
The problem seems to be that Native Americans seem to object to
being associated with these angry and vicious images. I can see
their point, after a fashion. I mean, how would you feel to hear
that mothers tell their children that if they didn't eat their lima
beans that (substitute your name here) would get them some dark
night. And let's face it. An Indian name for a sports team is an
over- worked metaphor. But then people who deal with sports are
generally fairly eloquence-impaired and vocabulary-impoverished.
This is why the game was great, the team was great, the opposition
was great, the fans were great, the stadium was great, the weather
was great, and the hot dogs were great. The only time you get any
variety in sports talk is when a sportscaster has to give a lot of
scores. Then you find that A trounced B, that C throttled D, that
E decimated F; that G defecated on H, etc. ad nauseum.
So here is what I propose. From June 1999 to May 2049, all sports
teams with Indian names give them up. Then two generations would
go by without having all these negative names. These teams would
then choose their names from another group who have been under-
represented in the realms of sports glory. Why not have Jewish
names? Hey, look, the Jews have proven they are hard to stamp out.
And look at how fierce Jews were recognized to be after the Six-Day
War. It's not such a big change. There are still people who think
Indians are lost tribes of Jews.
How about a team called the Radnor Rabbis? No? Hey, take it from
me ladies and gentlemen, rabbis can be mean. You just try speaking
out of turn in Hebrew school and you will find out how mean rabbis
can be. Hey, nobody doubts that nuns can be nasty, do they?
Rabbis can be even worse. And who would want to be on the gridiron
with the Baltimore Bal-shem-tovs? You could have the Azalia
Tzadiks.
When you start thinking about these names they start rolling off
your tongue. How about a game where the Galveston Golems go head-
to-head with the Denver Dybbuks? Now that is a game that I
wouldn't mind seeing even if I hate football. Hey, Monday night
tune in to see the New Orleans Jazz square off against the Miami
Maj. What about the Kansas City Chiefs against the Topeka Chief
Rabbinate? The Cincinnati Bagels are playing the Boston Red Lox in
Felafel Park. L.A. has the California Seraphim and the L.A.
Latkes. The San Francisco Goliaths could play in Menorah Park. Of
course, closer to home there are two major teams for one city, the
New York Yentas and the New York Yeshiva Boys. Then there is the
Philadelphia Fleisch and the Univerity of Michigan Mashuganas. And
who would not think twice about facing on the gridiron the Montana
Mohels? [-mrl]
===================================================================
2. ANALYZE THIS (a film review by Mark R. Leeper):
Capsule: One of the big crime bosses of New
York decides he needs to see a psychiatrist.
Harold Ramis gives us a comedy that has a
promising beginning, but nothing original to do
in the middle or the end. Once the good gags
are over the film seems to have nothing to do
but repeat them and tell a superficial crime
story. The sub-plots of the psychiatrist and
his patient, and of the gang war are both
hackneyed and way, way too predictable. Even
the laughs trail off in the second half of the
film. Rating: 6 (0 to 10), 1 (-4 to +4)
Paul Vitti (Robert DeNiro) is the head of one of New York City's
two biggest crime families. But he is losing his drive. He is
beating people up less and he is feeling their pain more. For no
apparent reason he will start crying. (The head of a crime family
beats people up himself???? Why does this not seem very likely?)
He decides he needs good psychiatric help, but he must keep it
secret since seeing a psychiatrist would be seen as a sign of
weakness. Through an odd chain of events he chooses analyst Ben
Sobel (Billy Crystal). But the last thing Sobel wants is one of
New York's most notorious criminals as a patient. Nor does Sobel
know how to treat Vitti. A psychiatrist works by getting and
holding the upper hand over his patient. No matter what a patient
does the psychiatrist must always be in control of the situation.
With Vitti he is dealing with a man who is also expert at control,
even if he needs a gun to maintain it. The two of them begin a
battle for control of their sessions. It is a struggle that should
have been more interesting than it was.
But his doctor is not the only opponent that Vitti is battling. He
is in a cold war with Primo Sindone (Chazz Palminteri), the head of
New York's other major crime family. And Sobel may become a pawn
in the conflict. At the most inconvenient times suddenly Sobel
will be summoned to have a silly psychiatric session with Vitti.
It is a gag repeated as many times as is necessary to fill out the
length of the film. Writing which is very funny in the first part
of the film is wasted in a film which has much sparser and less
funny gags in its second and third. This film could have done more
with the doctor-patient relationship, but settles for pop
psychology and an instant miracle cure. It could have done more
with the crime plot, but it settles for something hackneyed and
overly cliched.
What is curious about the film is that the acting is way below
anybody's standards. Robert DeNiro coasts along as the gangster, a
part he could play in his sleep. What gives Vitti potential as a
character is that he has emotional problems, but DeNiro is not used
to playing emotional problems of this sort. When he cries in front
of the camera it is like amateur night tryouts for the Actors'
Studio. His touch at comedy is only marginally better. Billy
Crystal is again the nice-guy, sincere, New York Jew he always
plays, only this time he plays it as a psychiatrist. This would
have been a far more engaging film if on Day One DeNiro and Crystal
would have just looked at each other, said "not this role again,"
and then traded roles. Lisa Kudrow is capable or more but plays a
bewildered third wheel in the grand tradition of Terry Garr. She
should never have settled for such a tangential role. More
interesting are the character roles of Joe Viterelli as the
bodyguard Jelly and Chazz Palminteri is his usual riveting
character.
Many of the jokes really are funny, but again most are in the first
half of the film. There are also some interesting allusions to
crime films, both in the dialog and visually. But the script by
Ken Lonergan and Peter Tolan is not content to simply have many of
the allusions, it must tell the viewer about them so that they are
not missed. It sacrifices subtlety. Overall this averages out to
being a decent comedy, but it was capable of being much more. I
rate it a 6 on the 0 to 10 scale and a +1 on the -4 to +4 scale.
[-mrl]
Mark Leeper
MT 3E-433 732-957-5619
mleeper@lucent.com
It is one of the capital tragedies of youth--and
youth is a time of tragedy--that the young are
thrown mainly with adults they do not quite respect.
-- H. L. Mencken